Growth with boundaries

Once upon a time, Farmer Chick put up boundary signs to protect her chickens and land from wolves. But wolves don’t read, so they ignored her well intentioned signs and walked right under them to attack her chickens. Farmer chick went hungry for a while because she lost the eggs she would have had for nutrition, so she was weakened and had to regroup to find another way to feed herself.

Farmer Chick planted a garden. There weren’t obvious threats that she could assess for a garden, but she was a cautious personality and always tried to learn from the past, so she put up a fence around her garden. No wolves tried to come into her garden, so she believed her garden was safe. When she went to care for her garden however, she found that a rabbit had buried under her fence and eaten her produce. Again, farmer chick went hungry, felt weaker, and it took longer for her to regroup.

Farmer Chick then decided to plant a garden in containers raised off the ground with stronger fenced protection. She was still feeling weak, but optimistic that this time, her farm would flourish for herself. But bugs can act like microaggressions and don’t care about heights, or stronger fencing. Her crop was decimated, and she became the weakest she had ever been. All she had left to feed off were those bugs that had hurt her crops. She had lost her strength to grow her own garden or raise her own chickens to nourish herself, so she had to take what the world gave her to stay alive. AND SHE SURVIVED.

When Farmer Chick had enough strength, she planted one more garden. This time, it was very small, in her small box of a room, close to her for safety. It grew, and when the bugs came, she noticed them, no matter how small, and swatted them away. Then the rabbit came to sniff at the door, and she reinforced the boundaries of the small room she stayed within to protect her small garden. She held on to the hope that this time she could grow for herself. And she did. Then she ate what she had grown and became stronger. She grew more the next time, still safely inside a small space for herself, but this time, her little garden was a bit bigger and her hope had enough space to sprout as well.

Farmer Chick was then strong enough, and had some produce saved in a safe area to rely on for herself. She decided to go outside again, to plant a full garden once more. She netted the plants to protect from bugs and learned from her own experience to feed the plants to make them stronger. Her garden grew strong and yielded a bountiful harvest. She saved enough produce for the next year to keep her strong, and her optimism began to return.

Farmer Chick was finally strong enough to build a reinforced chicken coop, this time with strong boundaries of heavy duty fencing and strong coop walls for keeping her chickens safe. She did not put-up signs to indicate the boundaries anymore, if the wolves tried to get through what is obvious, they are safely zapped by the electric fence.

Nowadays, Farmer Chick eats bountiful meals and has enough to nourish others as well. She teaches classes to those surviving on the world's bugs, teaches them to grow their own plants in the safety of their own small spaces, and gives thanks for every harvest meal with many at her table.

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This was written as a way to help me cope with the ongoing need for boundaries within relationships in my life. I am glad to have learned from so many others that have helped me navigate setting boundaries. Online sources can and many books are available to learn more about helping ourselves set boundaries to help us honor our needs as we're ready and able to.

It's okay to survive too! I am a survivor of major depressive disorder, multiple chronic illnesses, C- PTSD, medical system gaslighting and a bit more.